I am fortunate to have many wonderful people in my life. Some incredible family members, friends, and coworkers that are much more like family. There are also the people that came into my life but didn’t stick around for long. I still believe they had a purpose and role in changing my life.
One of those people was my third-grade teacher. I moved into his classroom halfway through the school year. He knew I had a single mother and nowhere to go right after school, so he allowed me to hang out in his room every day after school for a bit. He took that time to know me. I am sure getting to see a male figure in my life played a part as well. He knew I struggled with reading and got me the help I needed. He helped play a role in wanting to become an educator and be that special person for another child to look up to.
When growing up I was friends with a family that had 4 young boys. I grew up babysitting these boys and watched them grow up. This family was so good to me. One person in particular, the Dad of the family. He became one of the closest people I had to a father figure in my life. He always showed me so much support and encouragement. He too was into sports, so he always came to all my basketball games. He would be yelling tips at me to improve game and the first to lend encouraging words when I needed to hear it the most. In fact, a lot of people thought he was my dad. I remember not wanting to correct them because I didn’t mind.
Another important person in my life was my “high school sweetheart” I guess that is what you could call him. He was in my life for a decent amount of time (like 4 years). He was a lot like me! We both loved sports, drawing, and we both had absentee fathers. Long story short, he treated me like garbage towards the end. He cheated on me a lot and never really cared for me the same way I cared for him. That you cannot fix. I am ashamed to admit that I put up with his shitty behavior way longer than I should have. I don’t regret the relationship, not for one second though. We experienced things together that were great. Oh, and his mom, how I loved her (I will get to her later). One day I finally woke up and realized that he wasn’t the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. I knew if I stayed with him, I would never be truly happy, and it would just show I had absolutely no self-worth. I didn’t want that for myself or for my future kids to look up to that. Because of him I knew what I wanted and needed in my future and that I didn’t deserve anything less. I have no hate in my heart for him at all. I wish only great things for him!
Since I am mentioning my high school sweetheart, I can’t talk about him without mentioning the role his mom played in my life. My own mom became very busy with her own life, so it was never a problem that I stayed at their house instead of mine. For a while I lived with them. His mom became just like a mom to me. She was the mother of 2 boys, so to have a girl in the house was like a breath of fresh air to her. She took me shopping, helped me dress up, we watched Lifetime movies together, and would just laugh and laugh. I could go to her with anything! I wouldn’t say she is now completely out of my life, because we do check in with each other through texts or calls every once and while, but she doesn’t hold the place she once did. I knew breaking up with him, meant losing her and I really feel that is a lot of the reason I did stay with him so long.
When I was going through school, I didn’t ever put much effort into my grades. I did not have any self-confidence in academics just thought it wasn’t my thing since I had to work so hard at it. Then I went to college and although I had to study hard, I was determined to get my degree in education, so I could become a teacher and make something of myself. I was really starting to get into the groove of it when I met my cooperating teacher (the one I student taught under). I was placed in her 1st grade classroom. This placement sealed the deal for me on becoming a teacher. I learned so much from this incredible woman. She was such a selfless person who truly lived for her family and her students. She treated me so well. Not only did she teach me how to become a compassionate and effective teacher, but she also got to know me on a personal level. I could tell from the first day I met her that she was someone who only truly wanted the best for me. She was my number one supporter. She never stopped caring for me, even after our student teaching time ended. She recommended me for a Student Teaching Award that I received when I graduated. Also, years after I worked with her, she knew I was trying to get a teaching job so any opening that became available she put in a good word for me. It eventually paid off and I feel it is because of her and only her that I got a job in her district. This is same district I have been teaching at for the last 13 years. Her encouragement gave me the confidence that I was yearning for so long. She made me feel like I was going to be a great teacher. Today I know I can’t possibly fill her shoes, but it is because of her that I am the best teacher I can possibly be.
Another person worth mentioning that just most recently crossed my path is my teacher aide. She is a one-on-one aide in my classroom this year. The year 2020 filled with complete uncertainty because of this pandemic. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve her in my life but even though it hasn’t been a long time we have spent together; she has already taught me so much! Teachers’ aides are our unsung heroes in elementary schools. They do all the behind the scenes work that help us teachers be able to do our main job, teach. This aide is unique in that she is one-on-one so that means she is assigned one student that is her main responsibility. She has been with this student every year that she has been in school (since Pre-k and she is now in Third), so it has been a while. This student of hers can be very stubborn and all around difficult to deal with throughout the day. However, each day she comes to work with a positive attitude, holds her accountable, and loves her as if she was her own child. Not many people can get through to this little girl, but she does and so much more. Their bond is something like I have never seen before. She goes out of her way to get more training on how to help her be even more successful, and this is without pay (they get paid so little as is too). Sometimes the little girl will get upset and she will get up and go sit on her lap. I recently did a picture frame with picture of her, her special little girl, and a short note written to her. When I asked her to write a short note about her that we could give her for Christmas, she said, “Yes, I can tell her I love you.” That is perfect because those three words sum it up best. The love they have for each other is unconditional! I have only worked with her for a few months now, and I already don’t know how I will make it without her! She has without a doubt been put on this earth to see this little girl through all her school years. She has already taught me how to have patience and love without limits.
These people were put in my life for a reason and I couldn’t be more grateful for them. They helped shape who I am and help me continuously evolve as I get older. I know as I continue through life the list of people who touched me in one way, or another will continue. If you didn’t make the list it is because I am fortunate enough to still have you in my life, or we haven’t met yet. This just reminds me to be grateful for this journey called life. Also, not to be disappointed if people don’t remain in your life. They were probably in it when you needed them the most or when you needed to learn a lesson that could possibly be life altering. If I didn’t go down the paths I did I wouldn’t be where I am today. For these reasons I am blessed for all the what ifs, should of/could of, tears, broken promises, and memories.
Mary
Ruthless Lifestyle 