I have anxiety. Pretty sure I have had it since I was a young child, but it wasn’t until about 2 years ago when I was officially diagnosed with it. Basically, my biggest issue is that my mind never stops! I worry about anything and everything. I do not have the most confidence because in my head I can always be doing so much better. I have and always will be my toughest critic. Am I a good enough mother? Is my husband happy with me? Are my students succeeding in my class? This list goes on and on. I take on a lot of responsibilities on because I know it will get done that way. I don’t have much faith in people (man does that sound bitchy, but that is my truth). I always want to make sure everyone in my life is okay, regardless of what it does to me.
So what? God, I hate when people play the “woe is me card” in really any aspect of their life. Having anxiety is no different. Each day I do what I can to overcome the anxiety. I am on a low dose anxiety medicine that I take twice a day. I am also on a sleeping anxiety medicine that is supposed to help my mind shut off at night. I have yearly doctor appointments to monitor my anxiety, and adjust my medicine as needed. I exercise as often as I can. I have found this to be the healthiest release for me. I try to stay away from work on the weekends. This is easier said than done though being a teacher during a pandemic. I do my best to be more present in the moment because I am often thinking about what I must do next. I am trying to be more open with my friends, even if it is to just vent, I am learning that to get rid of thoughts instead of holding onto them is invaluable. I make a lot of lists, especially at work. Who doesn’t like to cross things off a list? Lastly, I clean. Not because I enjoy it, but because if I am at home and trying to relax and there are dishes and laundry to be done then that whole relaxing thing isn’t happening.
Remember if you too are struggling with anxiety you are not alone. It is nothing to be ashamed of. You are enough. Take it day by day and don’t ever be afraid to ask for help. You got this!
Mary
Ruthless Lifestyle 