There aren’t many things that strike a nerve with me, but deadbeat parents sure is one of them! My “father” and mother got divorced when I was around 2 years old. Ever since then, he has not been in my life. I can count on one hand the times that I have seen him. Usually when I did see him, it was because my grandma (his mom) forced the situation. She had her heart in the right place, but it really made it awkward for everyone!
As a little girl I was left to wonder was why my Daddy didn’t want me. I know that sounds dramatic, but this very question haunted me my whole life. Seriously, how do you have a child (a piece of you) and not wonder how they are? What they look like? What kinds of things they like? It never made sense to me. I even started to question if it was me! I know that sounds dumb to say, but I can recognize that as an adult now, but as a kid I doubted everything I did! As much as I didn’t want it to be true, I felt as though I wasn’t good enough because my own father didn’t want me. Then I thought maybe if I were better at things, he’d come back in my life (sports, etc..). Then as I grew up, I eventually realized that you can’t make someone want to be in your life. The hope never fades though. I mean I am 38 years old, but still feel like a 5-year-old girl that wants her Daddy at times. That hope will probably never completely disappear, but now I am a parent myself, so I had to face the fact that he never has wanted to be in my life, so he never will.
Being a parent to 2 children myself, the mama bear comes out and I unfriended my father on Facebook because my kids were confused about him. They know I have a Dad and that he wasn’t really in my life. My daughter even said the other day, “Mommy, why doesn’t your Daddy love you?” Ouch, right?! She had every right to say that. I just said, “I don’t know” and “Some people shouldn’t be parents.” I reassured her that her Daddy isn’t like mine – no matter what ever happened. He would always be in her life! I figured with him on Facebook that still gave him the opportunity to see my kids (his grandkids) pictures and other posts. It is a privilege to be in my kid’s life. He may have come in and out of my life, but he WILL NOT do that to my kids. His loss! My kids are awesome and have plenty of people that love them!
Ruthless Lifestyle 